Dearest Ask Anytime Now,
uhm... here goes...
im certified gay, 100 percent... and i think i've known it since i was born... my friends know it... my parents know it, my brothers know it... heck i think even our dogs know it...
well actually the problem is, i haven't been in a serious relationship before... i keep telling myself, 'dadating din yan.... in due time...' but sometimes your mind also knows that u'r just fooling urself... i'm 20 for God's sake, and i think my inferiority complex is reaching its peak... my gay friends have had dozens and yet here i am, already starting to count the grey strands in my hair...
i have observed myself and i think i'm not that ugly naman, d rin naman aq bobo... an lalu namang d rin aq boring.... sometimes i've concluded that the problem is not me but what this stupid society dictates... there are an awfully lot of gays roaming around this planet and yet, the moment they catch their eyes on a poor prey, not conforming with the trend, and by trend i mean... d nagpapaka paminta... shet!!! magsisindi liparan na ang mga kilay jan na kontodo ahit naman... i keep my hair long, although i don't wear skimpy girly outfits... i still dress up like a man... (eh d itinakwil aq ng mga kaibigan q pag nakita nila qng ganun...)
and if u'r probably asking wether or not i'm still a virgin, nope... my hymen's no longer intact... heheheheeh... kidding aside... i've done some one nyt stuff just to make myself feel better but i think that really isn't enough...
my friend has commented me why i haven't had any boyfriend yet and she has concluded na torpe daw aq... uhm, yep, i am... i also acepted that fact... but that's who i am... i can't even smile at someone in the street who i know is gay/bi/whatever (i also have a radar... i think we all do...) who seems to have locked his eyes on me 2... all i can do is stare back at him... i can't even initiate a decent sexy talk... hehehehe.... joke...
To sum this all up... I feel super alone... i hate the fact that i always have to go home alone walking along p gil, feeling depressed after seeng all those gay couples (who i may say not at all that happy but still, they're with someone...) strutting along with me...
hoping to have an opinion on this crap,
no boyfriend since birth
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hello!
First, I have to say that I somehow know what it feels to be in your shoes. In the first few months after I "came out", I wasn't so confident with my gay skin. It was because I didn't know yet where i would position myself in the society. I wasn't straight enough to be straight and I wasn't gay enough to be guy.
Looking around us, I totally agree with you when you said that those who do not conform with the gay norms have the tendency to be ignored in the gay scene. That happened to me several times. I wouldn't say I'm ugly, it's just that I don't wear the "I'M GAY" button. I don't wear super body-hugging shirts, I'm not buff, my hair isn't spiky, and I don't have that intense gay look in my pictures. Funny it may seem that its like there is a UNIFORM that one wears to identify himself as gay. Those who wear something else gradually fade out of the scene.
As much as it hurts to admit it, the gay world can be both cruel and superficial. Gay guys like men, that's why their gays. Normally and logically, they would prefer someone who is brooding and manly, otherwise, they would've hit on women. Beauty is really subjective and as time passes by, the society shapes how beauty should be defined. This applies to gays and straights alike. If before, homosexuals brag about their trophies for winning Ms. Gay Phippines, today, gays populate the gym to buff up their bodies and bag either the Mossimo or Bikini Open titles.
So you're not the neo-gay stereotype, so what? The gay world can be shallow in general but I assure you that some look more than skindeep. You said it yourself, you're smart and you're a great conversationalist. For me, those reasons are enough to make me fall for someone. People have different preferences but you do not have to change who you are just because they don't prefer you.
In a book that I read in the past, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, the author, Stephen Covey, said that changing yourself or your ways is not the solution to a problem. Rather, it totally ignores the root of the situation and instead oushes you to try some well-tested formula to get what you want. You said you're torpe, right? Instead of trying century-old techniques like biting your lips or making a naughty smaile when someone cute passes by, analyze why you are "torpe".
You are "torpe' because you have issues regarding your confidence. Once you have worked on your these issues, you would be confident to approach others. Do you see the difference? You did not force yourself to change, rather, you looked inside to determine what the problem was and work on a solution for that problem.
I don't believe that love comes to those who wait. However, I do not think as well that we should all rush on love. You said you're 20, that's just like 25% of the average human life-span. You've got 75% more to live. I have a friend and she's 26 and she never had a boyfriend. But I don't think she minds. You only feel the pressure because you compare your experiences with what your peers have experienced and you realize that they have gone much further than you have. But actually, it is no issue. We all walk this life in our own pacing and only ourselves should decide how fast things would be.
Being single can be lonely and depressing, but even if you're in a relationship, there are times when you would still feel lonely and depressed. I can attest to that. Though its good to have a partner to share eveyrthing with, its much more complicated because you are dealing with another person who thinks, feels, speaks, and acts differently.
You may find this as a cliche but be confident with what you have. NOTE, I din't say be contented with what you ahve, I said be contented. Though its OK to desire for what you don't have, make sure you do not ignore your God-given gifts and you always flaunt them whenever, wherever, possible.
Intelligence is sexy. Being smart is cool. People may call me geeky or nerdy but I wouldn't trade my wits for a drool-worthy physique.
Hope I was of help. Thanks for asking.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
Being overprotected.
mm ill start..
i have a buddy now who treat me as his brother.. we are a year now of having this kind of relationship.. then as the months goes by, maxado na xang overprotective sa akin.. he keeps on dictating what should i do, how i will behave, todays dinner is, (i forgot that during skul days we were together sa 1 apartment)
1 time, i had this classmate who came from a broken family.. nakahalata xa (my brother) na we were very close then you know wat he did?? inaway nya without asking me. my classmate was helpless for what he did. mee too, i dont have any prerogative to react, to suggest.. in short i am also helpess.. i am the pain keeper for anything he does for me, i am the mute kid and i am the robot who is programmed to live.. Mr anytime_now, paano ako makakawala sa kanya??
PS theres so much more this chained heart to say..
Thanks!
Overprotected
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi there!
As I always say,life is a choice and where you are right now is a consequence of what you did or what you did not do.
From how I see it, you respect him a lot and you value his presence in your life. If not, I'm sure you would've lashed out on him for what he does. I can only see 2 scenario on why this keeps happening. Allow me to explain each.
There are some things that we hate not for any specific reasons other than we know that they are supposed to be hated. But in reality, we have a repressed longing for this. This is my first theory. You don't feel comfortable with him being so overprotective of you because you know that it isn't normaland he shouldn't be acting that way. However,you've allowed yourself to be in that situation because you are unconsciously enjoying the feeling of being protected and shielded from anything that may bring you harm. It is either this is something that you did not feel from your biological family growing upand that is whjy you cling too much to this buddy of yours, OR, it could be that you aare now crossing the lines of brotherly love and you like the feeling of being guarded by this special person.
My second theory is that you respect him so much and you value your relationship with him that you wouldn't want to speak out for the fear of ruining what you have with him.
You know, change will not come from his end not until you want it to start. If you really want things to get "better", at least in your own definition of the word, you have to realize that the choice is not anyone else's to make but yours.
No one will free you from that cell other than yourself. If you really want to breeak free, then will yourself to be.
I hope I helped and I appreciate you asking.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
i have a buddy now who treat me as his brother.. we are a year now of having this kind of relationship.. then as the months goes by, maxado na xang overprotective sa akin.. he keeps on dictating what should i do, how i will behave, todays dinner is, (i forgot that during skul days we were together sa 1 apartment)
1 time, i had this classmate who came from a broken family.. nakahalata xa (my brother) na we were very close then you know wat he did?? inaway nya without asking me. my classmate was helpless for what he did. mee too, i dont have any prerogative to react, to suggest.. in short i am also helpess.. i am the pain keeper for anything he does for me, i am the mute kid and i am the robot who is programmed to live.. Mr anytime_now, paano ako makakawala sa kanya??
PS theres so much more this chained heart to say..
Thanks!
Overprotected
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi there!
As I always say,life is a choice and where you are right now is a consequence of what you did or what you did not do.
From how I see it, you respect him a lot and you value his presence in your life. If not, I'm sure you would've lashed out on him for what he does. I can only see 2 scenario on why this keeps happening. Allow me to explain each.
There are some things that we hate not for any specific reasons other than we know that they are supposed to be hated. But in reality, we have a repressed longing for this. This is my first theory. You don't feel comfortable with him being so overprotective of you because you know that it isn't normaland he shouldn't be acting that way. However,you've allowed yourself to be in that situation because you are unconsciously enjoying the feeling of being protected and shielded from anything that may bring you harm. It is either this is something that you did not feel from your biological family growing upand that is whjy you cling too much to this buddy of yours, OR, it could be that you aare now crossing the lines of brotherly love and you like the feeling of being guarded by this special person.
My second theory is that you respect him so much and you value your relationship with him that you wouldn't want to speak out for the fear of ruining what you have with him.
You know, change will not come from his end not until you want it to start. If you really want things to get "better", at least in your own definition of the word, you have to realize that the choice is not anyone else's to make but yours.
No one will free you from that cell other than yourself. If you really want to breeak free, then will yourself to be.
I hope I helped and I appreciate you asking.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
Is Atheism a Religion?
Hi!
Me again. What is your opinion about those atheists who dont believe in religion(an organised or system of beliefs)?
Isn't atheism is also a system of faith or belief?
Fundamentally, all human beings are seeking happiness. Whether or not we can achieve happiness, while not denying the reality of life's inherent suffering, depends on our attitudes. Positive attitude consist of such feeling as hope, confidence, energy and sensitivity to others. Whether we can sustain such positive attitudes to living depends on what we most value. The thing we value most can be called our 'religion'.
Buddhism as a religious philosophy uphold the highest value of the sanctity of all life and taught the most comphensive view of life on how to live as human beings.
Thanks!
Bodhi
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi again Bodhi!
Regarding your second query,I think Atheist do not consider Atheism as a religion but more of a belief, or philosophically speaking, disbelief. Theism is the belief in the existence of a Higher Being and religion is the organized structure that supports a certain form of theism. Atheists do not believe in the existence of a Higher Being, and therefore, do not have a religion.
That may be your own definition of "religion" Bodhi but I assure you that it would take a lot of convincing on your part to make them, including myself, agree with you. I personally believe that when we talk about theism, we are not merely discussing about what makes you happy, or what you value in life. It is possible that you are just using a language game that is way far from what we do.
Atheism has its own philosophy, need not be a religious philosophy, and it is existentialism. Life is not meant to be anything special and it is how we live each day that gives purpose to our being.
I can see how much you adore your belief and I respect your opinion. However, statements like " Buddhism as a religious philosophy uphold the highest value of the sanctity of all life and taught the most comphensive view of life on how to live as human beings" may have been the cause of many religious battles in the past,and probably, even future wars to be fought for the sake of religion.
No offense but I do not think that claiming that your religion is the best there is is appropriate and I was never a believer that there is ONE true way.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
Me again. What is your opinion about those atheists who dont believe in religion(an organised or system of beliefs)?
Isn't atheism is also a system of faith or belief?
Fundamentally, all human beings are seeking happiness. Whether or not we can achieve happiness, while not denying the reality of life's inherent suffering, depends on our attitudes. Positive attitude consist of such feeling as hope, confidence, energy and sensitivity to others. Whether we can sustain such positive attitudes to living depends on what we most value. The thing we value most can be called our 'religion'.
Buddhism as a religious philosophy uphold the highest value of the sanctity of all life and taught the most comphensive view of life on how to live as human beings.
Thanks!
Bodhi
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi again Bodhi!
Regarding your second query,I think Atheist do not consider Atheism as a religion but more of a belief, or philosophically speaking, disbelief. Theism is the belief in the existence of a Higher Being and religion is the organized structure that supports a certain form of theism. Atheists do not believe in the existence of a Higher Being, and therefore, do not have a religion.
That may be your own definition of "religion" Bodhi but I assure you that it would take a lot of convincing on your part to make them, including myself, agree with you. I personally believe that when we talk about theism, we are not merely discussing about what makes you happy, or what you value in life. It is possible that you are just using a language game that is way far from what we do.
Atheism has its own philosophy, need not be a religious philosophy, and it is existentialism. Life is not meant to be anything special and it is how we live each day that gives purpose to our being.
I can see how much you adore your belief and I respect your opinion. However, statements like " Buddhism as a religious philosophy uphold the highest value of the sanctity of all life and taught the most comphensive view of life on how to live as human beings" may have been the cause of many religious battles in the past,and probably, even future wars to be fought for the sake of religion.
No offense but I do not think that claiming that your religion is the best there is is appropriate and I was never a believer that there is ONE true way.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
On Being Selfless...
Hi Anytime Now!
This is regarding your previous post that I quoted below"
"Each of us is the center of our own universes and we see things from our perspective, from our own point of view. There are things that may seem so selfless. Acts of sacrifice such as letting go of someone you love just to see him happy, sharing to others what you ahve left for yourself, taking others' responsibilities, etc. These things seem so much of a burden. But why do we still do them?
We are created to please ourselves and make us happy. The sacrifices that we make, the hardships that we go through for other people, we just don't realize it but we these things because no matter how difficult it may seem, it is what pleases us most.
Rizal died as a hero and he sacrificed his life for the country. Selfless, NO! No matter how hard it may seem to us, he did that because he feels good, or he would feel good, knowing that he died for the country. It made him happy knowing that he can make a difference.
Life is self-centered. All our actions, all our goals, they go back to what can make us happy. And there is nothing wrong with that. Those people who sacrifice a lot for others, it makes them happy knowing that they make others happy.
So, its actually, we live for ouselves through each other."
That was very insightful. In Buddhism, there is no YOU, I, or ME. There is only others.This basic philosophy is called the doctrine of NO-self or known in Mahayana Buddhism as principle of Non-substantiality or Emptiness-- is that we do not exist entirely on our own. The meaning of our lives and our happines arises through our interconnectedness with those around us, with the community and world in which we live. An analogy used to describe this principle in Buddhism is that of two bundles of reeds that remain standing as long as they are leaning on each other. The implication is that there is no fundamental distinction between our happiness and that of others. To fall under the illusion that we are independent of others is to alienate ourselves from the world around us. This kind of selfishness becomes self-defeating. The concept of non-substantiality teaches that all things, including our lives, exist as they are only in the con-text of their relations with other phenomena. Nothing has an independent substance of its own. .
Isolated, our lives lose meaning. But depending upon how we relate to others and our environment, we can realize the infinite potential we possess and our own value to the world around us. In this sense, the most unfortunate are those who withdraw to the prison of their own self-centeredness and lock the door from the inside by insisting that their lives are fundamentally separate. In an ironic reversal of intent, those who seek absolute value in their own existence while ignoring the happiness of others are, in fact, voiding their lives of meaning and substance. With the absence of such relationships, all that remains is "non-substantiality" or "emptiness."
In the final analysis, the concept of non-substantiality is a teaching through which we awaken compassion and transcend our selfish ego so that we may actively engage with others. When we view the happiness of others as our own and extend them genuine care, our lives transform themselves from "emptiness" to "substance" realizing the interconnectedness of all lives as well as of expressing appreciation and compassion in altruistic action. The concept of non-substantiality suggests that selflessness may be the shortest path to meaningful selfhood.
Thanks!
Bodhi
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Bodhi!
Allow me to start my post by quoting my last sentence in that particular post, "So, its actually, we live for ouselves through each other."
In Buddhism,you said that there is only others. True. But what do you think is the basis in making this claim? Buddhism said that life is full of suffering because of man's self-centeredness. And this selfishness, makes the world full of suffering. To free ourselves fromthe endless chain of life and death that is full of suffering, we need to discard of the concept of "ourselves" and live for others. Only through this can we obtain Nirvana.
Examine that. The idea that you ahve to be selfless in order to achieve a glorious end already supports my statement that whatever we do is self-motivated. And as I've said earlier, it isn't bad.
You mentioned that life is about interconnectedness, I believe you on this. But which reference point do you use in determining these interconnections? Is it not that you start from yourself to see these interconnections? As I've started earlier, life is about living for yourself through others. At the end of the day, not matter what you do, it is what makes you happy, or at least for the moment, that determines your course of action. Used yourself as an example. Do you follow the rules of Buddhism just because it says so. I doubt that. You do that because you know that it is for your own personal good. You believe in their teachings and you find "happiness", or at least contentment, knowing that you follow what you believe in.
You said it yourself, "When we view the happiness of others as our own and extend them genuine care, our lives transform themselves from "emptiness" to "substance" realizing the interconnectedness of all lives as well as of expressing appreciation and compassion in altruistic action. " Your happiness becomes other people's happiness and its not wrong to help others based on your personal motivation that you will be happy knowing that you have made them happy.
I am also a follower of the Buddhist path but I am more of a believer of the contemporary Buddhism that deals about one's personal universe and how this universe is connected to the shared Multiverse or Collective Consciousness.
This is just me. I'm not saying that what I believe is the absolute truth as the main reason why I left the Roman Catholic church is for the same claim that they are the ONLY way.
I would not want to use the word selfishness. I would prefer to call it self-awareness.
Thanks for asking!
Just Ask Anytime Now!
This is regarding your previous post that I quoted below"
"Each of us is the center of our own universes and we see things from our perspective, from our own point of view. There are things that may seem so selfless. Acts of sacrifice such as letting go of someone you love just to see him happy, sharing to others what you ahve left for yourself, taking others' responsibilities, etc. These things seem so much of a burden. But why do we still do them?
We are created to please ourselves and make us happy. The sacrifices that we make, the hardships that we go through for other people, we just don't realize it but we these things because no matter how difficult it may seem, it is what pleases us most.
Rizal died as a hero and he sacrificed his life for the country. Selfless, NO! No matter how hard it may seem to us, he did that because he feels good, or he would feel good, knowing that he died for the country. It made him happy knowing that he can make a difference.
Life is self-centered. All our actions, all our goals, they go back to what can make us happy. And there is nothing wrong with that. Those people who sacrifice a lot for others, it makes them happy knowing that they make others happy.
So, its actually, we live for ouselves through each other."
That was very insightful. In Buddhism, there is no YOU, I, or ME. There is only others.This basic philosophy is called the doctrine of NO-self or known in Mahayana Buddhism as principle of Non-substantiality or Emptiness-- is that we do not exist entirely on our own. The meaning of our lives and our happines arises through our interconnectedness with those around us, with the community and world in which we live. An analogy used to describe this principle in Buddhism is that of two bundles of reeds that remain standing as long as they are leaning on each other. The implication is that there is no fundamental distinction between our happiness and that of others. To fall under the illusion that we are independent of others is to alienate ourselves from the world around us. This kind of selfishness becomes self-defeating. The concept of non-substantiality teaches that all things, including our lives, exist as they are only in the con-text of their relations with other phenomena. Nothing has an independent substance of its own. .
Isolated, our lives lose meaning. But depending upon how we relate to others and our environment, we can realize the infinite potential we possess and our own value to the world around us. In this sense, the most unfortunate are those who withdraw to the prison of their own self-centeredness and lock the door from the inside by insisting that their lives are fundamentally separate. In an ironic reversal of intent, those who seek absolute value in their own existence while ignoring the happiness of others are, in fact, voiding their lives of meaning and substance. With the absence of such relationships, all that remains is "non-substantiality" or "emptiness."
In the final analysis, the concept of non-substantiality is a teaching through which we awaken compassion and transcend our selfish ego so that we may actively engage with others. When we view the happiness of others as our own and extend them genuine care, our lives transform themselves from "emptiness" to "substance" realizing the interconnectedness of all lives as well as of expressing appreciation and compassion in altruistic action. The concept of non-substantiality suggests that selflessness may be the shortest path to meaningful selfhood.
Thanks!
Bodhi
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Bodhi!
Allow me to start my post by quoting my last sentence in that particular post, "So, its actually, we live for ouselves through each other."
In Buddhism,you said that there is only others. True. But what do you think is the basis in making this claim? Buddhism said that life is full of suffering because of man's self-centeredness. And this selfishness, makes the world full of suffering. To free ourselves fromthe endless chain of life and death that is full of suffering, we need to discard of the concept of "ourselves" and live for others. Only through this can we obtain Nirvana.
Examine that. The idea that you ahve to be selfless in order to achieve a glorious end already supports my statement that whatever we do is self-motivated. And as I've said earlier, it isn't bad.
You mentioned that life is about interconnectedness, I believe you on this. But which reference point do you use in determining these interconnections? Is it not that you start from yourself to see these interconnections? As I've started earlier, life is about living for yourself through others. At the end of the day, not matter what you do, it is what makes you happy, or at least for the moment, that determines your course of action. Used yourself as an example. Do you follow the rules of Buddhism just because it says so. I doubt that. You do that because you know that it is for your own personal good. You believe in their teachings and you find "happiness", or at least contentment, knowing that you follow what you believe in.
You said it yourself, "When we view the happiness of others as our own and extend them genuine care, our lives transform themselves from "emptiness" to "substance" realizing the interconnectedness of all lives as well as of expressing appreciation and compassion in altruistic action. " Your happiness becomes other people's happiness and its not wrong to help others based on your personal motivation that you will be happy knowing that you have made them happy.
I am also a follower of the Buddhist path but I am more of a believer of the contemporary Buddhism that deals about one's personal universe and how this universe is connected to the shared Multiverse or Collective Consciousness.
This is just me. I'm not saying that what I believe is the absolute truth as the main reason why I left the Roman Catholic church is for the same claim that they are the ONLY way.
I would not want to use the word selfishness. I would prefer to call it self-awareness.
Thanks for asking!
Just Ask Anytime Now!
A Selfless World For You and Me...
Ei!
would life be better if each person was living for each other, instead of a me for me?
Thanks!
Eric
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Eric!
To tellyou honestly, I do not believe that we live for others. All our actions are self-motivated and our drives root back to what would make us feel happy, regardless of what it can bring.
All the sacrifices that we make, we do them for ourselves. No matter how hard they are, no matter how much pain it can bring us, we still do it knowing that we are making others happy, and with that, we achieve our own happiness.
So to answer your question, that kind of world will never happen. Each of us is the center of our own universes and we see things from our perspective, from our own point of view. There are things that may seem so selfless. Acts of sacrifice such as letting go of someone you love just to see him happy, sharing to others what you have left for yourself, taking others' responsibilities, etc. These things seem so much of a burden. But why do we still do them?
We are created to please ourselves and make us happy. The sacrifices that we make, the hardships that we go through for other people, we just don't realize it but we these things because no matter how difficult it may seem, it is what pleases us most.
Rizal died as a hero and he sacrificed his life for the country. Selfless, NO! No matter how hard it may seem to us, he did that because he feels good, or he would feel good, knowing that he died for the country. It made him happy knowing that he can make a difference.
Life is self-centered. All our actions, all our goals, they go back to what can make us happy. And there is nothing wrong with that. Those people who sacrifice a lot for others, it makes them happy knowing that they make others happy.
So, its actually, we live for ourselves through each other.
Hope I answered your query.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
would life be better if each person was living for each other, instead of a me for me?
Thanks!
Eric
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Eric!
To tellyou honestly, I do not believe that we live for others. All our actions are self-motivated and our drives root back to what would make us feel happy, regardless of what it can bring.
All the sacrifices that we make, we do them for ourselves. No matter how hard they are, no matter how much pain it can bring us, we still do it knowing that we are making others happy, and with that, we achieve our own happiness.
So to answer your question, that kind of world will never happen. Each of us is the center of our own universes and we see things from our perspective, from our own point of view. There are things that may seem so selfless. Acts of sacrifice such as letting go of someone you love just to see him happy, sharing to others what you have left for yourself, taking others' responsibilities, etc. These things seem so much of a burden. But why do we still do them?
We are created to please ourselves and make us happy. The sacrifices that we make, the hardships that we go through for other people, we just don't realize it but we these things because no matter how difficult it may seem, it is what pleases us most.
Rizal died as a hero and he sacrificed his life for the country. Selfless, NO! No matter how hard it may seem to us, he did that because he feels good, or he would feel good, knowing that he died for the country. It made him happy knowing that he can make a difference.
Life is self-centered. All our actions, all our goals, they go back to what can make us happy. And there is nothing wrong with that. Those people who sacrifice a lot for others, it makes them happy knowing that they make others happy.
So, its actually, we live for ourselves through each other.
Hope I answered your query.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
Friday, May 11, 2007
Is It A Sin To Be Gay?
Hi there!
Do you think homosexuality is a sin?
Thanks!
Vr2@l j0eY:>
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Vr2@l j0eY:> ,
I never viewed homosexuality as a sin. Though until now, I haven't figured out yet how homosexuality starts, I do not believe that the Higher Being will consider something that would liberate someone and bring one happiness be ever considered a sin.
Some researchers hypothesize that homosexuality is a genetic condition. An abnormality to the human genome wherein a anomaly in your X chromosome has occurred, leading you to be attracted to people of the same sex. This theory went further by saying that if this is the case, homosexuality can be prevented by isolating this gene at the time of birth if ever this condition appears at birth.
A lot of pro-gay movements reacted to this study claiming that their sexuality is not a result of a genetic abnormality but a matter of choice. They could not agree that they exist because there was something "wrong" in how they are made.
Considering something a "sin" is a matter of your ethical and moral view of your actions. I can kill someone and not consider it a sin if I can justify my actions. You see, this is relative to the person. It depends on what you believe in and how you are raised.
Personally, I think it is a decision. It's a choice for you to make not to be one, but whether to answer its calling when it comes and be pulled to the "darker" side of the force, or ignore it when you hear its song and keep your ears shut to whatever may be out there that can fulfill your fullest potential.
There are many factors that may have been involved in causing someone to be a homosexual. I do not believe that anyone is created to be someone. Somehow, it is a matter of choice.
This is what I believe in. We can never really tell what the Eyes of God see. I do not and would never see something that will make you happy as a sin. If ever homosexuality is a sin, then I'd burn in hell forever as I would never let go of something that made me know who I am just for the fear that it is "wrong".
Thanks for asking.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
Do you think homosexuality is a sin?
Thanks!
Vr2@l j0eY:>
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Vr2@l j0eY:> ,
I never viewed homosexuality as a sin. Though until now, I haven't figured out yet how homosexuality starts, I do not believe that the Higher Being will consider something that would liberate someone and bring one happiness be ever considered a sin.
Some researchers hypothesize that homosexuality is a genetic condition. An abnormality to the human genome wherein a anomaly in your X chromosome has occurred, leading you to be attracted to people of the same sex. This theory went further by saying that if this is the case, homosexuality can be prevented by isolating this gene at the time of birth if ever this condition appears at birth.
A lot of pro-gay movements reacted to this study claiming that their sexuality is not a result of a genetic abnormality but a matter of choice. They could not agree that they exist because there was something "wrong" in how they are made.
Considering something a "sin" is a matter of your ethical and moral view of your actions. I can kill someone and not consider it a sin if I can justify my actions. You see, this is relative to the person. It depends on what you believe in and how you are raised.
Personally, I think it is a decision. It's a choice for you to make not to be one, but whether to answer its calling when it comes and be pulled to the "darker" side of the force, or ignore it when you hear its song and keep your ears shut to whatever may be out there that can fulfill your fullest potential.
There are many factors that may have been involved in causing someone to be a homosexual. I do not believe that anyone is created to be someone. Somehow, it is a matter of choice.
This is what I believe in. We can never really tell what the Eyes of God see. I do not and would never see something that will make you happy as a sin. If ever homosexuality is a sin, then I'd burn in hell forever as I would never let go of something that made me know who I am just for the fear that it is "wrong".
Thanks for asking.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
Monday, May 7, 2007
"How do you nurse a broken heart?"
Hi!
I have posted this question as a title of my thread. But i want to ask you this as well. I might get another sensible answer... Here goes:
"How do you nurse a broken heart?"
Thanks!
Sports Jock
++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Sports Jock!
There are many ways I can think of to nurse a broken heart. But at the end of the day, what works for others may not work for you. It is always a matter of what works for you.
Ever heard of time 5 stages of grieving? I've always believed that to be able to fully recover from a painful heartbreak, one must go through these 5 stages and only then can healing start.
The first stage is denial. This is the stage where you still could not believe that the relationship is over and you still hold on to hopes that things can still be better between you and your partner.
The second stage is anger. This is when you get a little bitter and tend to point all your hatred to your partner for ruining everything you had.
Bargaining is the thirs stage wherein you ask the Higher Powers or wish that whatever you had can be revived in exchange of anything or everything you can give.
The fourth stage is depression. In this stage, it has already sank in that everything's over and you are just saddened that nothing can be done to ever bring it back.
And finally, acceptance. You have accepted that it is over and it is time to move on. This ends the stage of grieving. Once you have accepted that it is not coming back, you get the strength to stand up and continue walking.
They say time can heal all wounds. I definitely agree with this. There is no pain that time could not, if not erase, at least ease or alleviate. However, time alone cannot heal all wounds. There has to be faith in yourself that you can move on. It is a choice for you to make.
Moving on is not the end of a struggle to nurse your heart. It's a choice. You can distract yourself by keeping yourself pre-occupied with things or dating new guys, but as soon as you're alone and there is nothing more to do, the memories will come rushing back and it will torture you.
Loving, letting go, and moving on are always choices that you can choose to make. Difficult but not impossible. You can only heal your heart from pain once you've accepted that a part of your life has ended to give way to a new one.
Thanks for asking!
Just Ask Anytime Now!
I have posted this question as a title of my thread. But i want to ask you this as well. I might get another sensible answer... Here goes:
"How do you nurse a broken heart?"
Thanks!
Sports Jock
++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Sports Jock!
There are many ways I can think of to nurse a broken heart. But at the end of the day, what works for others may not work for you. It is always a matter of what works for you.
Ever heard of time 5 stages of grieving? I've always believed that to be able to fully recover from a painful heartbreak, one must go through these 5 stages and only then can healing start.
The first stage is denial. This is the stage where you still could not believe that the relationship is over and you still hold on to hopes that things can still be better between you and your partner.
The second stage is anger. This is when you get a little bitter and tend to point all your hatred to your partner for ruining everything you had.
Bargaining is the thirs stage wherein you ask the Higher Powers or wish that whatever you had can be revived in exchange of anything or everything you can give.
The fourth stage is depression. In this stage, it has already sank in that everything's over and you are just saddened that nothing can be done to ever bring it back.
And finally, acceptance. You have accepted that it is over and it is time to move on. This ends the stage of grieving. Once you have accepted that it is not coming back, you get the strength to stand up and continue walking.
They say time can heal all wounds. I definitely agree with this. There is no pain that time could not, if not erase, at least ease or alleviate. However, time alone cannot heal all wounds. There has to be faith in yourself that you can move on. It is a choice for you to make.
Moving on is not the end of a struggle to nurse your heart. It's a choice. You can distract yourself by keeping yourself pre-occupied with things or dating new guys, but as soon as you're alone and there is nothing more to do, the memories will come rushing back and it will torture you.
Loving, letting go, and moving on are always choices that you can choose to make. Difficult but not impossible. You can only heal your heart from pain once you've accepted that a part of your life has ended to give way to a new one.
Thanks for asking!
Just Ask Anytime Now!
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Si Mamang Pulis
Hi Anytime Now,
m one of your fans interms in giving advise,
anyway i have this problem witrh my MU which is he is policeman in our community, he is so sweet, before when he is still studying we always see each other, sharing some happy moment, giving inspiration to evryone, enjoying our both c0mpanys and also sharing some affection or rather i say SEx, but this day was ended when he become a registered police, and also when there someone who gets his attention,,, i new the fact that i dont have any right to do some action because in the first place we are just MU, and i dont want to be kontrabida in his life, but he alwys hurting my feelings when i saw him txting, chating with that individual, then,
what should i do.........
Thanks!
Love Or Sex
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Love Or Sex!
Thanks for being a "fan" of my advice gig. Seriously, it feels good knowing someone regularly comes in to check what I write. All the while, I thought it was just me who reads my own stuff. So there you go, biggest thanks!
Regarding your question, we have to establish first what "MU" means. Literally, it stands for Mutual Understanding. But we have to realize that "mutual understading" can mean many things. In your set-up with Mamang Pulis, what is it really that you have agreed upon? You can have a mutual understading when it comes to sex, or companionship, or dating, or maybe all of these. It is important that you know the scope of this understanding that you both share.
You have all the right to feel jealous. You can be hurt for all you want. That is normal. I can see that you're starting to think that you are falling deeply for this person and it is normal to feel when a threat of losing him comes along the way.
Thing is, you have all the right to feel all these things but you only have the right to limit what you feel to yourself. As you have said, you do not have any formal set-up on where you stand.
Lastly, as I always say in almost of the advice I give, life is a choice. If you think that you want him so much in your life, then go run the extra mile and tell him. Tell him what you feel and tell him that you want him to stay to with you. Now, after you've said your piece, the choice is his to make and all you can do is condition yourself to accept whatever his answer would be.
Reality bites and it bites hard. Before you make any decision, contemplate first on what you really feel for him. Are you feeling that way because you have strong feelings for this cop or its just that it hurts your ego that after all that you've had, someone else will have him and its like you've all been used up. Whatever it is that you truly feel, it is always up to you to make things happen.
Thanks for asking and I look forward to hear from you more.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
m one of your fans interms in giving advise,
anyway i have this problem witrh my MU which is he is policeman in our community, he is so sweet, before when he is still studying we always see each other, sharing some happy moment, giving inspiration to evryone, enjoying our both c0mpanys and also sharing some affection or rather i say SEx, but this day was ended when he become a registered police, and also when there someone who gets his attention,,, i new the fact that i dont have any right to do some action because in the first place we are just MU, and i dont want to be kontrabida in his life, but he alwys hurting my feelings when i saw him txting, chating with that individual, then,
what should i do.........
Thanks!
Love Or Sex
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Love Or Sex!
Thanks for being a "fan" of my advice gig. Seriously, it feels good knowing someone regularly comes in to check what I write. All the while, I thought it was just me who reads my own stuff. So there you go, biggest thanks!
Regarding your question, we have to establish first what "MU" means. Literally, it stands for Mutual Understanding. But we have to realize that "mutual understading" can mean many things. In your set-up with Mamang Pulis, what is it really that you have agreed upon? You can have a mutual understading when it comes to sex, or companionship, or dating, or maybe all of these. It is important that you know the scope of this understanding that you both share.
You have all the right to feel jealous. You can be hurt for all you want. That is normal. I can see that you're starting to think that you are falling deeply for this person and it is normal to feel when a threat of losing him comes along the way.
Thing is, you have all the right to feel all these things but you only have the right to limit what you feel to yourself. As you have said, you do not have any formal set-up on where you stand.
Lastly, as I always say in almost of the advice I give, life is a choice. If you think that you want him so much in your life, then go run the extra mile and tell him. Tell him what you feel and tell him that you want him to stay to with you. Now, after you've said your piece, the choice is his to make and all you can do is condition yourself to accept whatever his answer would be.
Reality bites and it bites hard. Before you make any decision, contemplate first on what you really feel for him. Are you feeling that way because you have strong feelings for this cop or its just that it hurts your ego that after all that you've had, someone else will have him and its like you've all been used up. Whatever it is that you truly feel, it is always up to you to make things happen.
Thanks for asking and I look forward to hear from you more.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Am I a retard?
Anytime Now,
One of my male celebrity crushes is Steve of Blues Clues.
I also like Kuya Tonipet of Art Angel.
Am I a retard for liking children's show hosts?
Thanks!
Moko-Kun
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Moko-Kun,
There is definitely nothing wrong with that. I have an officemate who has a crush on John Gomez. He is the child actor who played Kris Aquino's son is Feng Shui. My officemate is 26.
Not that you're a retard but from how I see it, I may be wrong, you like them for the innocence that they project. You look everywhere and you can see how reality is. As a mid-90's movie once said, "reality bites", it really does. You are aware of how imperfect, how malicious, how selfish, and how mean people can be. Now, looking at these guys, you see the innocence in them.
The thought of being with someone like them regresses you to the time when everything seems so pure and adulterated. It's not them per se, but the archetype they represent.
Or, you just have a kink for men who talks to cameras =-)
Heard of Coldplay's song "The Scientist", that says it all. "Let's take things back to the start."
And by the way, I like Joe more!
Hope I cleared your worry. Thanks!
Just Ask Anytime Now!
One of my male celebrity crushes is Steve of Blues Clues.
I also like Kuya Tonipet of Art Angel.
Am I a retard for liking children's show hosts?
Thanks!
Moko-Kun
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Moko-Kun,
There is definitely nothing wrong with that. I have an officemate who has a crush on John Gomez. He is the child actor who played Kris Aquino's son is Feng Shui. My officemate is 26.
Not that you're a retard but from how I see it, I may be wrong, you like them for the innocence that they project. You look everywhere and you can see how reality is. As a mid-90's movie once said, "reality bites", it really does. You are aware of how imperfect, how malicious, how selfish, and how mean people can be. Now, looking at these guys, you see the innocence in them.
The thought of being with someone like them regresses you to the time when everything seems so pure and adulterated. It's not them per se, but the archetype they represent.
Or, you just have a kink for men who talks to cameras =-)
Heard of Coldplay's song "The Scientist", that says it all. "Let's take things back to the start."
And by the way, I like Joe more!
Hope I cleared your worry. Thanks!
Just Ask Anytime Now!
Sometimes... I get tired...
Hmmm... wow this is a fun.
Ok, here it goes. Over the years I've been trying to get myself into a relationship, and I often stress and even get manically depressed about it. Yeah, I've been through some (ok... ok... alot) and there are some good(yeah right) and bad(mostly) things that happened. But recently I've found out (or something hehehe) that though I want it, I'm really not ready to have it. So now, I'm laying of guys(dirty bast@rds) for a while.
My question is, did I make the right decision? To lay off men?
Thanks!
Rasui Akira
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Rasui!
First, I like the name. Don't know if it's something you made up or an existing name but it sounds cute.
Anyway, back to your dilemma. Did you make the right choice? What is "right" in the first place. In anything and everything we do, we get tired once in a while after having a bunch. And thing is, I don't see anything wrong with that. It's OK to feel "pagod". All you need to do is rest, regain your strength, and be back on track once you're ready.
I was never a believer of love comes to those who wait. For me, love is a decision, it's not the destination, but the journey itself. However, in your case, you said you've been with a lot (citation needed) of men but none of them really worked. It could really be that you're not yet ready to love and that's why you always find yourself wearing the wrong shoes.
You're not the only person who feels that way. Actually, its pretty common. Even I was once in that spot you are in now. I guess its because we have this thiking we are born to be with someone to spend the rest of our lives with. Someone to love, someone to share everything we have. For this reason, we have the tendency to rush things and mistake every incident of attraction as love.
Just because you think you are meant to spend the rest of your life with someone, it doesn't mean it has to start now. Just imagine, this will be the same person you will wake up with everyday. Do you want it to be just about anyone who will come along the way.
Love is a choice, it's not an accident. Instead of making the same mistakes in the past, I think it is better to take some time off and contemplate on what you want for yourself, and who you want to be with.
Thanks for asking! Hope I helped somehow.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
Ok, here it goes. Over the years I've been trying to get myself into a relationship, and I often stress and even get manically depressed about it. Yeah, I've been through some (ok... ok... alot) and there are some good(yeah right) and bad(mostly) things that happened. But recently I've found out (or something hehehe) that though I want it, I'm really not ready to have it. So now, I'm laying of guys(dirty bast@rds) for a while.
My question is, did I make the right decision? To lay off men?
Thanks!
Rasui Akira
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Rasui!
First, I like the name. Don't know if it's something you made up or an existing name but it sounds cute.
Anyway, back to your dilemma. Did you make the right choice? What is "right" in the first place. In anything and everything we do, we get tired once in a while after having a bunch. And thing is, I don't see anything wrong with that. It's OK to feel "pagod". All you need to do is rest, regain your strength, and be back on track once you're ready.
I was never a believer of love comes to those who wait. For me, love is a decision, it's not the destination, but the journey itself. However, in your case, you said you've been with a lot (citation needed) of men but none of them really worked. It could really be that you're not yet ready to love and that's why you always find yourself wearing the wrong shoes.
You're not the only person who feels that way. Actually, its pretty common. Even I was once in that spot you are in now. I guess its because we have this thiking we are born to be with someone to spend the rest of our lives with. Someone to love, someone to share everything we have. For this reason, we have the tendency to rush things and mistake every incident of attraction as love.
Just because you think you are meant to spend the rest of your life with someone, it doesn't mean it has to start now. Just imagine, this will be the same person you will wake up with everyday. Do you want it to be just about anyone who will come along the way.
Love is a choice, it's not an accident. Instead of making the same mistakes in the past, I think it is better to take some time off and contemplate on what you want for yourself, and who you want to be with.
Thanks for asking! Hope I helped somehow.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)