I Want To See Them But I Don't Wanna Be With Them!

hi!

it's kinda personal...naglayas ako sa family ko and i am presently living with my friends...i have no peace of mind...i wanna see my family again but i dont wanna live with them under one roof kasi nagaaway lang kami most of the times... i am single and working as a call center agent but i find it difficult to live like a yuppy dahil nagkaroon ako ng bisyo with my former barkadas. It seems like kailangan ko ng outlet sa lahat ng mga problema ko...but still, i can't find myself belonged...i attempted suicide several times pero di ko mapursue to do it...I need your advice...WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Thanks!

Brian Flores

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You've already enough caused pain to your family when you left the house. Imagine how much pain your parents would feel if they lose you for good. Based on what I can sense in your letter, you don't want that to happen as well.

I know that I'm not in the position to assume the intensity of the arguements that you have with your family, but imagine this, the fact that you're away and you miss them so much means they are that important to you.

Wanting to see them again is different from wanting to live with them. It was your choice to live independently, you have to face the consequences of that responsibly. If you just wanna see them so there'll be people na pipigil sa 'yo sa bisyo mo, we all know that at some point in time, we'd lose them. What if that time comes, who will do it for you?

Brian, quitting anything is hard. You can read books, go to church, get into sports, and try anything just to get your mind out of it. But trust me, it only works temporarily. Distraction and diversion only keep the harm at bay. They don't eliminate it.

It may sound much of a cliche but change really does come from within. You have to choose that it has to stop, with or without your family with you. One more thing, real friends will respect your decision. If you're not into what they're doing, they won't force you. Lalo kapag masama. if they insist that you join them, think twice kung kaibigan nga sila. Camaraderie is different from friendship.

As for your family, it is up to you if you wanna go back. Do you prefer living with them and having constant arguement, or would you choose to be away and die missing them.

One thing I am certain, at the end of the day, your family will never turn your back on you who ever and what ever you ahve become.

I wish you well. If you believe in a God or a Higher Being, it helps to talk to with Him/Her. You can't say everything you want, you can lash out at Him/Her, curse, blame Him/Her for everything, and He/She won't argue with you.

When you're done doing that, you'd realize that we can blame anyone for the bad things in our life, we can pray that things get better, we can wish that all our dreams would come true, but at the end of the day, it's still up to us to make those changes possible.

Life is valuable. Don't waste it.

Thanks for asking.

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