Dear Anytime Now,
Is homosexuality an abnormality?
Thanks!
Love Or Sex
++++++++++++++++
Hello Love Or Sex!
I believe this is your second time to ask. Eager beaver you are. Anyway, to answer whether homosexuality is abnormal or not depends on how "normal" means. Though we all know what normal denotes, we need to isolate in which particular context of the word we are trying to relate it with homosexuality. Normal can be used in the biological sense, social, and heck, even spritual.
In the biological sense, there was a hypothesis in the late 60's that homosexuality is a "deviation from the common genetic structure of humans." If we define "normal" as those people having the same genetic structure that everybody else share, then YES, it is an abnormality... at least granted the premise given above. Homosexuality is an abnormality in one's genetic make up, causing the individual to bne attracted to those of the same bilogical orientation (AKA same sex).
However, gay rights activist expressed their disapproval towards this theory saying that homosexuality is not a disease contracted upon birth. Due to the loud, massive as well, movement against it, it gradually went silent until, eventually, it was totally ignored.
But from what I know, there had been researchers trying to resurrect this theory and claiming that granted the above claim, homosexuality can be prevented by removing the "GAY" gene upon birth. if not remove it, at least, it can be predicted at the time of pregnancy if a couple's child will turn out homosexual. They have not made any conclusion on this and they are still continuing their research.
In the social context of the word "normal", the society WAS (WAS being the operative word) not made and ready for a same-sex relationship. Every religion teaches of a union between man-woman to procreate. This is what normally happens. Anything beyond this is abnormal.
Personally, I think it is just a matter of nomenclature. What may be "abnormal" to others can just be "unusual" or "unconventional" in my eyes. In the ancient time, an eclipse was thought to be an abnormality in the sun's condition, leading the people to believe that it may have been swallowed bya dragon. Eventually, they figured out that it is a scientific astronomical phenomenon.
What I'm trying to say is, anything new, anything out of the ordinary can be called "abnormal" not until it has been fully accepted. I believe that eventually, the society will come to terms with the life that gay people live and the term "gay" or "homsexual" will no longer be used. Afterall, other than what we have between our thighs, everything else is the same, and SHOULD be the same.
As for homosexuality being a genetic condition, it CAN be true. I can never really tell as I am not a geneticist. I think those who protest against this claim isn't really against the idea of homosexuality being a gay condition but the use of the word "abnormal" to refer to their sexual orientation. Who would want to be called abnormal anyway?
I know some people who had a very hard time trying to accept their sexuality, and all the more making it be understood by the people around them. Due to this, these people value their "decision" to be gay a lot and they do not want to think that such "choice" that they made could have been avoided if a certain GAY GENE was removed from their bodies when they were young.
Being gay is very difficult because you have to prove a lot, not only to other people, but mostly to yourself. There is an urge to be, and do, what everybody else can to prove that you are just like the rest.
As I've said earlier, I can never tell if being gay is a genetic condition, but I hope that it is not. "Coz though life would've been less complicated if you were straight, you can never really say how things would have been granted that you were given the chance to make a choice.
Personally, I would still want that choice to be there. Regardless of how hard, how complicated it may be, I know that I was given the chance, rather the privilege, to make a choice for myself and defend that choice that I've chosen. No should be deprived of that chance.
By the way, do you know that having dimples is also an "abnormality" in the number of muscles in your face? And it still makes you cute, so who cares what/who is abnormal.
Thanks for asking!
Just Ask Anytime Now!
Friday, June 1, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
No Boyfriend Since Birth, What do I do?
Dearest Ask Anytime Now,
uhm... here goes...
im certified gay, 100 percent... and i think i've known it since i was born... my friends know it... my parents know it, my brothers know it... heck i think even our dogs know it...
well actually the problem is, i haven't been in a serious relationship before... i keep telling myself, 'dadating din yan.... in due time...' but sometimes your mind also knows that u'r just fooling urself... i'm 20 for God's sake, and i think my inferiority complex is reaching its peak... my gay friends have had dozens and yet here i am, already starting to count the grey strands in my hair...
i have observed myself and i think i'm not that ugly naman, d rin naman aq bobo... an lalu namang d rin aq boring.... sometimes i've concluded that the problem is not me but what this stupid society dictates... there are an awfully lot of gays roaming around this planet and yet, the moment they catch their eyes on a poor prey, not conforming with the trend, and by trend i mean... d nagpapaka paminta... shet!!! magsisindi liparan na ang mga kilay jan na kontodo ahit naman... i keep my hair long, although i don't wear skimpy girly outfits... i still dress up like a man... (eh d itinakwil aq ng mga kaibigan q pag nakita nila qng ganun...)
and if u'r probably asking wether or not i'm still a virgin, nope... my hymen's no longer intact... heheheheeh... kidding aside... i've done some one nyt stuff just to make myself feel better but i think that really isn't enough...
my friend has commented me why i haven't had any boyfriend yet and she has concluded na torpe daw aq... uhm, yep, i am... i also acepted that fact... but that's who i am... i can't even smile at someone in the street who i know is gay/bi/whatever (i also have a radar... i think we all do...) who seems to have locked his eyes on me 2... all i can do is stare back at him... i can't even initiate a decent sexy talk... hehehehe.... joke...
To sum this all up... I feel super alone... i hate the fact that i always have to go home alone walking along p gil, feeling depressed after seeng all those gay couples (who i may say not at all that happy but still, they're with someone...) strutting along with me...
hoping to have an opinion on this crap,
no boyfriend since birth
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hello!
First, I have to say that I somehow know what it feels to be in your shoes. In the first few months after I "came out", I wasn't so confident with my gay skin. It was because I didn't know yet where i would position myself in the society. I wasn't straight enough to be straight and I wasn't gay enough to be guy.
Looking around us, I totally agree with you when you said that those who do not conform with the gay norms have the tendency to be ignored in the gay scene. That happened to me several times. I wouldn't say I'm ugly, it's just that I don't wear the "I'M GAY" button. I don't wear super body-hugging shirts, I'm not buff, my hair isn't spiky, and I don't have that intense gay look in my pictures. Funny it may seem that its like there is a UNIFORM that one wears to identify himself as gay. Those who wear something else gradually fade out of the scene.
As much as it hurts to admit it, the gay world can be both cruel and superficial. Gay guys like men, that's why their gays. Normally and logically, they would prefer someone who is brooding and manly, otherwise, they would've hit on women. Beauty is really subjective and as time passes by, the society shapes how beauty should be defined. This applies to gays and straights alike. If before, homosexuals brag about their trophies for winning Ms. Gay Phippines, today, gays populate the gym to buff up their bodies and bag either the Mossimo or Bikini Open titles.
So you're not the neo-gay stereotype, so what? The gay world can be shallow in general but I assure you that some look more than skindeep. You said it yourself, you're smart and you're a great conversationalist. For me, those reasons are enough to make me fall for someone. People have different preferences but you do not have to change who you are just because they don't prefer you.
In a book that I read in the past, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, the author, Stephen Covey, said that changing yourself or your ways is not the solution to a problem. Rather, it totally ignores the root of the situation and instead oushes you to try some well-tested formula to get what you want. You said you're torpe, right? Instead of trying century-old techniques like biting your lips or making a naughty smaile when someone cute passes by, analyze why you are "torpe".
You are "torpe' because you have issues regarding your confidence. Once you have worked on your these issues, you would be confident to approach others. Do you see the difference? You did not force yourself to change, rather, you looked inside to determine what the problem was and work on a solution for that problem.
I don't believe that love comes to those who wait. However, I do not think as well that we should all rush on love. You said you're 20, that's just like 25% of the average human life-span. You've got 75% more to live. I have a friend and she's 26 and she never had a boyfriend. But I don't think she minds. You only feel the pressure because you compare your experiences with what your peers have experienced and you realize that they have gone much further than you have. But actually, it is no issue. We all walk this life in our own pacing and only ourselves should decide how fast things would be.
Being single can be lonely and depressing, but even if you're in a relationship, there are times when you would still feel lonely and depressed. I can attest to that. Though its good to have a partner to share eveyrthing with, its much more complicated because you are dealing with another person who thinks, feels, speaks, and acts differently.
You may find this as a cliche but be confident with what you have. NOTE, I din't say be contented with what you ahve, I said be contented. Though its OK to desire for what you don't have, make sure you do not ignore your God-given gifts and you always flaunt them whenever, wherever, possible.
Intelligence is sexy. Being smart is cool. People may call me geeky or nerdy but I wouldn't trade my wits for a drool-worthy physique.
Hope I was of help. Thanks for asking.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
uhm... here goes...
im certified gay, 100 percent... and i think i've known it since i was born... my friends know it... my parents know it, my brothers know it... heck i think even our dogs know it...
well actually the problem is, i haven't been in a serious relationship before... i keep telling myself, 'dadating din yan.... in due time...' but sometimes your mind also knows that u'r just fooling urself... i'm 20 for God's sake, and i think my inferiority complex is reaching its peak... my gay friends have had dozens and yet here i am, already starting to count the grey strands in my hair...
i have observed myself and i think i'm not that ugly naman, d rin naman aq bobo... an lalu namang d rin aq boring.... sometimes i've concluded that the problem is not me but what this stupid society dictates... there are an awfully lot of gays roaming around this planet and yet, the moment they catch their eyes on a poor prey, not conforming with the trend, and by trend i mean... d nagpapaka paminta... shet!!! magsisindi liparan na ang mga kilay jan na kontodo ahit naman... i keep my hair long, although i don't wear skimpy girly outfits... i still dress up like a man... (eh d itinakwil aq ng mga kaibigan q pag nakita nila qng ganun...)
and if u'r probably asking wether or not i'm still a virgin, nope... my hymen's no longer intact... heheheheeh... kidding aside... i've done some one nyt stuff just to make myself feel better but i think that really isn't enough...
my friend has commented me why i haven't had any boyfriend yet and she has concluded na torpe daw aq... uhm, yep, i am... i also acepted that fact... but that's who i am... i can't even smile at someone in the street who i know is gay/bi/whatever (i also have a radar... i think we all do...) who seems to have locked his eyes on me 2... all i can do is stare back at him... i can't even initiate a decent sexy talk... hehehehe.... joke...
To sum this all up... I feel super alone... i hate the fact that i always have to go home alone walking along p gil, feeling depressed after seeng all those gay couples (who i may say not at all that happy but still, they're with someone...) strutting along with me...
hoping to have an opinion on this crap,
no boyfriend since birth
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hello!
First, I have to say that I somehow know what it feels to be in your shoes. In the first few months after I "came out", I wasn't so confident with my gay skin. It was because I didn't know yet where i would position myself in the society. I wasn't straight enough to be straight and I wasn't gay enough to be guy.
Looking around us, I totally agree with you when you said that those who do not conform with the gay norms have the tendency to be ignored in the gay scene. That happened to me several times. I wouldn't say I'm ugly, it's just that I don't wear the "I'M GAY" button. I don't wear super body-hugging shirts, I'm not buff, my hair isn't spiky, and I don't have that intense gay look in my pictures. Funny it may seem that its like there is a UNIFORM that one wears to identify himself as gay. Those who wear something else gradually fade out of the scene.
As much as it hurts to admit it, the gay world can be both cruel and superficial. Gay guys like men, that's why their gays. Normally and logically, they would prefer someone who is brooding and manly, otherwise, they would've hit on women. Beauty is really subjective and as time passes by, the society shapes how beauty should be defined. This applies to gays and straights alike. If before, homosexuals brag about their trophies for winning Ms. Gay Phippines, today, gays populate the gym to buff up their bodies and bag either the Mossimo or Bikini Open titles.
So you're not the neo-gay stereotype, so what? The gay world can be shallow in general but I assure you that some look more than skindeep. You said it yourself, you're smart and you're a great conversationalist. For me, those reasons are enough to make me fall for someone. People have different preferences but you do not have to change who you are just because they don't prefer you.
In a book that I read in the past, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, the author, Stephen Covey, said that changing yourself or your ways is not the solution to a problem. Rather, it totally ignores the root of the situation and instead oushes you to try some well-tested formula to get what you want. You said you're torpe, right? Instead of trying century-old techniques like biting your lips or making a naughty smaile when someone cute passes by, analyze why you are "torpe".
You are "torpe' because you have issues regarding your confidence. Once you have worked on your these issues, you would be confident to approach others. Do you see the difference? You did not force yourself to change, rather, you looked inside to determine what the problem was and work on a solution for that problem.
I don't believe that love comes to those who wait. However, I do not think as well that we should all rush on love. You said you're 20, that's just like 25% of the average human life-span. You've got 75% more to live. I have a friend and she's 26 and she never had a boyfriend. But I don't think she minds. You only feel the pressure because you compare your experiences with what your peers have experienced and you realize that they have gone much further than you have. But actually, it is no issue. We all walk this life in our own pacing and only ourselves should decide how fast things would be.
Being single can be lonely and depressing, but even if you're in a relationship, there are times when you would still feel lonely and depressed. I can attest to that. Though its good to have a partner to share eveyrthing with, its much more complicated because you are dealing with another person who thinks, feels, speaks, and acts differently.
You may find this as a cliche but be confident with what you have. NOTE, I din't say be contented with what you ahve, I said be contented. Though its OK to desire for what you don't have, make sure you do not ignore your God-given gifts and you always flaunt them whenever, wherever, possible.
Intelligence is sexy. Being smart is cool. People may call me geeky or nerdy but I wouldn't trade my wits for a drool-worthy physique.
Hope I was of help. Thanks for asking.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
Monday, May 14, 2007
Being overprotected.
mm ill start..
i have a buddy now who treat me as his brother.. we are a year now of having this kind of relationship.. then as the months goes by, maxado na xang overprotective sa akin.. he keeps on dictating what should i do, how i will behave, todays dinner is, (i forgot that during skul days we were together sa 1 apartment)
1 time, i had this classmate who came from a broken family.. nakahalata xa (my brother) na we were very close then you know wat he did?? inaway nya without asking me. my classmate was helpless for what he did. mee too, i dont have any prerogative to react, to suggest.. in short i am also helpess.. i am the pain keeper for anything he does for me, i am the mute kid and i am the robot who is programmed to live.. Mr anytime_now, paano ako makakawala sa kanya??
PS theres so much more this chained heart to say..
Thanks!
Overprotected
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi there!
As I always say,life is a choice and where you are right now is a consequence of what you did or what you did not do.
From how I see it, you respect him a lot and you value his presence in your life. If not, I'm sure you would've lashed out on him for what he does. I can only see 2 scenario on why this keeps happening. Allow me to explain each.
There are some things that we hate not for any specific reasons other than we know that they are supposed to be hated. But in reality, we have a repressed longing for this. This is my first theory. You don't feel comfortable with him being so overprotective of you because you know that it isn't normaland he shouldn't be acting that way. However,you've allowed yourself to be in that situation because you are unconsciously enjoying the feeling of being protected and shielded from anything that may bring you harm. It is either this is something that you did not feel from your biological family growing upand that is whjy you cling too much to this buddy of yours, OR, it could be that you aare now crossing the lines of brotherly love and you like the feeling of being guarded by this special person.
My second theory is that you respect him so much and you value your relationship with him that you wouldn't want to speak out for the fear of ruining what you have with him.
You know, change will not come from his end not until you want it to start. If you really want things to get "better", at least in your own definition of the word, you have to realize that the choice is not anyone else's to make but yours.
No one will free you from that cell other than yourself. If you really want to breeak free, then will yourself to be.
I hope I helped and I appreciate you asking.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
i have a buddy now who treat me as his brother.. we are a year now of having this kind of relationship.. then as the months goes by, maxado na xang overprotective sa akin.. he keeps on dictating what should i do, how i will behave, todays dinner is, (i forgot that during skul days we were together sa 1 apartment)
1 time, i had this classmate who came from a broken family.. nakahalata xa (my brother) na we were very close then you know wat he did?? inaway nya without asking me. my classmate was helpless for what he did. mee too, i dont have any prerogative to react, to suggest.. in short i am also helpess.. i am the pain keeper for anything he does for me, i am the mute kid and i am the robot who is programmed to live.. Mr anytime_now, paano ako makakawala sa kanya??
PS theres so much more this chained heart to say..
Thanks!
Overprotected
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi there!
As I always say,life is a choice and where you are right now is a consequence of what you did or what you did not do.
From how I see it, you respect him a lot and you value his presence in your life. If not, I'm sure you would've lashed out on him for what he does. I can only see 2 scenario on why this keeps happening. Allow me to explain each.
There are some things that we hate not for any specific reasons other than we know that they are supposed to be hated. But in reality, we have a repressed longing for this. This is my first theory. You don't feel comfortable with him being so overprotective of you because you know that it isn't normaland he shouldn't be acting that way. However,you've allowed yourself to be in that situation because you are unconsciously enjoying the feeling of being protected and shielded from anything that may bring you harm. It is either this is something that you did not feel from your biological family growing upand that is whjy you cling too much to this buddy of yours, OR, it could be that you aare now crossing the lines of brotherly love and you like the feeling of being guarded by this special person.
My second theory is that you respect him so much and you value your relationship with him that you wouldn't want to speak out for the fear of ruining what you have with him.
You know, change will not come from his end not until you want it to start. If you really want things to get "better", at least in your own definition of the word, you have to realize that the choice is not anyone else's to make but yours.
No one will free you from that cell other than yourself. If you really want to breeak free, then will yourself to be.
I hope I helped and I appreciate you asking.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
Is Atheism a Religion?
Hi!
Me again. What is your opinion about those atheists who dont believe in religion(an organised or system of beliefs)?
Isn't atheism is also a system of faith or belief?
Fundamentally, all human beings are seeking happiness. Whether or not we can achieve happiness, while not denying the reality of life's inherent suffering, depends on our attitudes. Positive attitude consist of such feeling as hope, confidence, energy and sensitivity to others. Whether we can sustain such positive attitudes to living depends on what we most value. The thing we value most can be called our 'religion'.
Buddhism as a religious philosophy uphold the highest value of the sanctity of all life and taught the most comphensive view of life on how to live as human beings.
Thanks!
Bodhi
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi again Bodhi!
Regarding your second query,I think Atheist do not consider Atheism as a religion but more of a belief, or philosophically speaking, disbelief. Theism is the belief in the existence of a Higher Being and religion is the organized structure that supports a certain form of theism. Atheists do not believe in the existence of a Higher Being, and therefore, do not have a religion.
That may be your own definition of "religion" Bodhi but I assure you that it would take a lot of convincing on your part to make them, including myself, agree with you. I personally believe that when we talk about theism, we are not merely discussing about what makes you happy, or what you value in life. It is possible that you are just using a language game that is way far from what we do.
Atheism has its own philosophy, need not be a religious philosophy, and it is existentialism. Life is not meant to be anything special and it is how we live each day that gives purpose to our being.
I can see how much you adore your belief and I respect your opinion. However, statements like " Buddhism as a religious philosophy uphold the highest value of the sanctity of all life and taught the most comphensive view of life on how to live as human beings" may have been the cause of many religious battles in the past,and probably, even future wars to be fought for the sake of religion.
No offense but I do not think that claiming that your religion is the best there is is appropriate and I was never a believer that there is ONE true way.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
Me again. What is your opinion about those atheists who dont believe in religion(an organised or system of beliefs)?
Isn't atheism is also a system of faith or belief?
Fundamentally, all human beings are seeking happiness. Whether or not we can achieve happiness, while not denying the reality of life's inherent suffering, depends on our attitudes. Positive attitude consist of such feeling as hope, confidence, energy and sensitivity to others. Whether we can sustain such positive attitudes to living depends on what we most value. The thing we value most can be called our 'religion'.
Buddhism as a religious philosophy uphold the highest value of the sanctity of all life and taught the most comphensive view of life on how to live as human beings.
Thanks!
Bodhi
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi again Bodhi!
Regarding your second query,I think Atheist do not consider Atheism as a religion but more of a belief, or philosophically speaking, disbelief. Theism is the belief in the existence of a Higher Being and religion is the organized structure that supports a certain form of theism. Atheists do not believe in the existence of a Higher Being, and therefore, do not have a religion.
That may be your own definition of "religion" Bodhi but I assure you that it would take a lot of convincing on your part to make them, including myself, agree with you. I personally believe that when we talk about theism, we are not merely discussing about what makes you happy, or what you value in life. It is possible that you are just using a language game that is way far from what we do.
Atheism has its own philosophy, need not be a religious philosophy, and it is existentialism. Life is not meant to be anything special and it is how we live each day that gives purpose to our being.
I can see how much you adore your belief and I respect your opinion. However, statements like " Buddhism as a religious philosophy uphold the highest value of the sanctity of all life and taught the most comphensive view of life on how to live as human beings" may have been the cause of many religious battles in the past,and probably, even future wars to be fought for the sake of religion.
No offense but I do not think that claiming that your religion is the best there is is appropriate and I was never a believer that there is ONE true way.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
On Being Selfless...
Hi Anytime Now!
This is regarding your previous post that I quoted below"
"Each of us is the center of our own universes and we see things from our perspective, from our own point of view. There are things that may seem so selfless. Acts of sacrifice such as letting go of someone you love just to see him happy, sharing to others what you ahve left for yourself, taking others' responsibilities, etc. These things seem so much of a burden. But why do we still do them?
We are created to please ourselves and make us happy. The sacrifices that we make, the hardships that we go through for other people, we just don't realize it but we these things because no matter how difficult it may seem, it is what pleases us most.
Rizal died as a hero and he sacrificed his life for the country. Selfless, NO! No matter how hard it may seem to us, he did that because he feels good, or he would feel good, knowing that he died for the country. It made him happy knowing that he can make a difference.
Life is self-centered. All our actions, all our goals, they go back to what can make us happy. And there is nothing wrong with that. Those people who sacrifice a lot for others, it makes them happy knowing that they make others happy.
So, its actually, we live for ouselves through each other."
That was very insightful. In Buddhism, there is no YOU, I, or ME. There is only others.This basic philosophy is called the doctrine of NO-self or known in Mahayana Buddhism as principle of Non-substantiality or Emptiness-- is that we do not exist entirely on our own. The meaning of our lives and our happines arises through our interconnectedness with those around us, with the community and world in which we live. An analogy used to describe this principle in Buddhism is that of two bundles of reeds that remain standing as long as they are leaning on each other. The implication is that there is no fundamental distinction between our happiness and that of others. To fall under the illusion that we are independent of others is to alienate ourselves from the world around us. This kind of selfishness becomes self-defeating. The concept of non-substantiality teaches that all things, including our lives, exist as they are only in the con-text of their relations with other phenomena. Nothing has an independent substance of its own. .
Isolated, our lives lose meaning. But depending upon how we relate to others and our environment, we can realize the infinite potential we possess and our own value to the world around us. In this sense, the most unfortunate are those who withdraw to the prison of their own self-centeredness and lock the door from the inside by insisting that their lives are fundamentally separate. In an ironic reversal of intent, those who seek absolute value in their own existence while ignoring the happiness of others are, in fact, voiding their lives of meaning and substance. With the absence of such relationships, all that remains is "non-substantiality" or "emptiness."
In the final analysis, the concept of non-substantiality is a teaching through which we awaken compassion and transcend our selfish ego so that we may actively engage with others. When we view the happiness of others as our own and extend them genuine care, our lives transform themselves from "emptiness" to "substance" realizing the interconnectedness of all lives as well as of expressing appreciation and compassion in altruistic action. The concept of non-substantiality suggests that selflessness may be the shortest path to meaningful selfhood.
Thanks!
Bodhi
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Bodhi!
Allow me to start my post by quoting my last sentence in that particular post, "So, its actually, we live for ouselves through each other."
In Buddhism,you said that there is only others. True. But what do you think is the basis in making this claim? Buddhism said that life is full of suffering because of man's self-centeredness. And this selfishness, makes the world full of suffering. To free ourselves fromthe endless chain of life and death that is full of suffering, we need to discard of the concept of "ourselves" and live for others. Only through this can we obtain Nirvana.
Examine that. The idea that you ahve to be selfless in order to achieve a glorious end already supports my statement that whatever we do is self-motivated. And as I've said earlier, it isn't bad.
You mentioned that life is about interconnectedness, I believe you on this. But which reference point do you use in determining these interconnections? Is it not that you start from yourself to see these interconnections? As I've started earlier, life is about living for yourself through others. At the end of the day, not matter what you do, it is what makes you happy, or at least for the moment, that determines your course of action. Used yourself as an example. Do you follow the rules of Buddhism just because it says so. I doubt that. You do that because you know that it is for your own personal good. You believe in their teachings and you find "happiness", or at least contentment, knowing that you follow what you believe in.
You said it yourself, "When we view the happiness of others as our own and extend them genuine care, our lives transform themselves from "emptiness" to "substance" realizing the interconnectedness of all lives as well as of expressing appreciation and compassion in altruistic action. " Your happiness becomes other people's happiness and its not wrong to help others based on your personal motivation that you will be happy knowing that you have made them happy.
I am also a follower of the Buddhist path but I am more of a believer of the contemporary Buddhism that deals about one's personal universe and how this universe is connected to the shared Multiverse or Collective Consciousness.
This is just me. I'm not saying that what I believe is the absolute truth as the main reason why I left the Roman Catholic church is for the same claim that they are the ONLY way.
I would not want to use the word selfishness. I would prefer to call it self-awareness.
Thanks for asking!
Just Ask Anytime Now!
This is regarding your previous post that I quoted below"
"Each of us is the center of our own universes and we see things from our perspective, from our own point of view. There are things that may seem so selfless. Acts of sacrifice such as letting go of someone you love just to see him happy, sharing to others what you ahve left for yourself, taking others' responsibilities, etc. These things seem so much of a burden. But why do we still do them?
We are created to please ourselves and make us happy. The sacrifices that we make, the hardships that we go through for other people, we just don't realize it but we these things because no matter how difficult it may seem, it is what pleases us most.
Rizal died as a hero and he sacrificed his life for the country. Selfless, NO! No matter how hard it may seem to us, he did that because he feels good, or he would feel good, knowing that he died for the country. It made him happy knowing that he can make a difference.
Life is self-centered. All our actions, all our goals, they go back to what can make us happy. And there is nothing wrong with that. Those people who sacrifice a lot for others, it makes them happy knowing that they make others happy.
So, its actually, we live for ouselves through each other."
That was very insightful. In Buddhism, there is no YOU, I, or ME. There is only others.This basic philosophy is called the doctrine of NO-self or known in Mahayana Buddhism as principle of Non-substantiality or Emptiness-- is that we do not exist entirely on our own. The meaning of our lives and our happines arises through our interconnectedness with those around us, with the community and world in which we live. An analogy used to describe this principle in Buddhism is that of two bundles of reeds that remain standing as long as they are leaning on each other. The implication is that there is no fundamental distinction between our happiness and that of others. To fall under the illusion that we are independent of others is to alienate ourselves from the world around us. This kind of selfishness becomes self-defeating. The concept of non-substantiality teaches that all things, including our lives, exist as they are only in the con-text of their relations with other phenomena. Nothing has an independent substance of its own. .
Isolated, our lives lose meaning. But depending upon how we relate to others and our environment, we can realize the infinite potential we possess and our own value to the world around us. In this sense, the most unfortunate are those who withdraw to the prison of their own self-centeredness and lock the door from the inside by insisting that their lives are fundamentally separate. In an ironic reversal of intent, those who seek absolute value in their own existence while ignoring the happiness of others are, in fact, voiding their lives of meaning and substance. With the absence of such relationships, all that remains is "non-substantiality" or "emptiness."
In the final analysis, the concept of non-substantiality is a teaching through which we awaken compassion and transcend our selfish ego so that we may actively engage with others. When we view the happiness of others as our own and extend them genuine care, our lives transform themselves from "emptiness" to "substance" realizing the interconnectedness of all lives as well as of expressing appreciation and compassion in altruistic action. The concept of non-substantiality suggests that selflessness may be the shortest path to meaningful selfhood.
Thanks!
Bodhi
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Hi Bodhi!
Allow me to start my post by quoting my last sentence in that particular post, "So, its actually, we live for ouselves through each other."
In Buddhism,you said that there is only others. True. But what do you think is the basis in making this claim? Buddhism said that life is full of suffering because of man's self-centeredness. And this selfishness, makes the world full of suffering. To free ourselves fromthe endless chain of life and death that is full of suffering, we need to discard of the concept of "ourselves" and live for others. Only through this can we obtain Nirvana.
Examine that. The idea that you ahve to be selfless in order to achieve a glorious end already supports my statement that whatever we do is self-motivated. And as I've said earlier, it isn't bad.
You mentioned that life is about interconnectedness, I believe you on this. But which reference point do you use in determining these interconnections? Is it not that you start from yourself to see these interconnections? As I've started earlier, life is about living for yourself through others. At the end of the day, not matter what you do, it is what makes you happy, or at least for the moment, that determines your course of action. Used yourself as an example. Do you follow the rules of Buddhism just because it says so. I doubt that. You do that because you know that it is for your own personal good. You believe in their teachings and you find "happiness", or at least contentment, knowing that you follow what you believe in.
You said it yourself, "When we view the happiness of others as our own and extend them genuine care, our lives transform themselves from "emptiness" to "substance" realizing the interconnectedness of all lives as well as of expressing appreciation and compassion in altruistic action. " Your happiness becomes other people's happiness and its not wrong to help others based on your personal motivation that you will be happy knowing that you have made them happy.
I am also a follower of the Buddhist path but I am more of a believer of the contemporary Buddhism that deals about one's personal universe and how this universe is connected to the shared Multiverse or Collective Consciousness.
This is just me. I'm not saying that what I believe is the absolute truth as the main reason why I left the Roman Catholic church is for the same claim that they are the ONLY way.
I would not want to use the word selfishness. I would prefer to call it self-awareness.
Thanks for asking!
Just Ask Anytime Now!
A Selfless World For You and Me...
Ei!
would life be better if each person was living for each other, instead of a me for me?
Thanks!
Eric
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Eric!
To tellyou honestly, I do not believe that we live for others. All our actions are self-motivated and our drives root back to what would make us feel happy, regardless of what it can bring.
All the sacrifices that we make, we do them for ourselves. No matter how hard they are, no matter how much pain it can bring us, we still do it knowing that we are making others happy, and with that, we achieve our own happiness.
So to answer your question, that kind of world will never happen. Each of us is the center of our own universes and we see things from our perspective, from our own point of view. There are things that may seem so selfless. Acts of sacrifice such as letting go of someone you love just to see him happy, sharing to others what you have left for yourself, taking others' responsibilities, etc. These things seem so much of a burden. But why do we still do them?
We are created to please ourselves and make us happy. The sacrifices that we make, the hardships that we go through for other people, we just don't realize it but we these things because no matter how difficult it may seem, it is what pleases us most.
Rizal died as a hero and he sacrificed his life for the country. Selfless, NO! No matter how hard it may seem to us, he did that because he feels good, or he would feel good, knowing that he died for the country. It made him happy knowing that he can make a difference.
Life is self-centered. All our actions, all our goals, they go back to what can make us happy. And there is nothing wrong with that. Those people who sacrifice a lot for others, it makes them happy knowing that they make others happy.
So, its actually, we live for ourselves through each other.
Hope I answered your query.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
would life be better if each person was living for each other, instead of a me for me?
Thanks!
Eric
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Eric!
To tellyou honestly, I do not believe that we live for others. All our actions are self-motivated and our drives root back to what would make us feel happy, regardless of what it can bring.
All the sacrifices that we make, we do them for ourselves. No matter how hard they are, no matter how much pain it can bring us, we still do it knowing that we are making others happy, and with that, we achieve our own happiness.
So to answer your question, that kind of world will never happen. Each of us is the center of our own universes and we see things from our perspective, from our own point of view. There are things that may seem so selfless. Acts of sacrifice such as letting go of someone you love just to see him happy, sharing to others what you have left for yourself, taking others' responsibilities, etc. These things seem so much of a burden. But why do we still do them?
We are created to please ourselves and make us happy. The sacrifices that we make, the hardships that we go through for other people, we just don't realize it but we these things because no matter how difficult it may seem, it is what pleases us most.
Rizal died as a hero and he sacrificed his life for the country. Selfless, NO! No matter how hard it may seem to us, he did that because he feels good, or he would feel good, knowing that he died for the country. It made him happy knowing that he can make a difference.
Life is self-centered. All our actions, all our goals, they go back to what can make us happy. And there is nothing wrong with that. Those people who sacrifice a lot for others, it makes them happy knowing that they make others happy.
So, its actually, we live for ourselves through each other.
Hope I answered your query.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
Friday, May 11, 2007
Is It A Sin To Be Gay?
Hi there!
Do you think homosexuality is a sin?
Thanks!
Vr2@l j0eY:>
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Vr2@l j0eY:> ,
I never viewed homosexuality as a sin. Though until now, I haven't figured out yet how homosexuality starts, I do not believe that the Higher Being will consider something that would liberate someone and bring one happiness be ever considered a sin.
Some researchers hypothesize that homosexuality is a genetic condition. An abnormality to the human genome wherein a anomaly in your X chromosome has occurred, leading you to be attracted to people of the same sex. This theory went further by saying that if this is the case, homosexuality can be prevented by isolating this gene at the time of birth if ever this condition appears at birth.
A lot of pro-gay movements reacted to this study claiming that their sexuality is not a result of a genetic abnormality but a matter of choice. They could not agree that they exist because there was something "wrong" in how they are made.
Considering something a "sin" is a matter of your ethical and moral view of your actions. I can kill someone and not consider it a sin if I can justify my actions. You see, this is relative to the person. It depends on what you believe in and how you are raised.
Personally, I think it is a decision. It's a choice for you to make not to be one, but whether to answer its calling when it comes and be pulled to the "darker" side of the force, or ignore it when you hear its song and keep your ears shut to whatever may be out there that can fulfill your fullest potential.
There are many factors that may have been involved in causing someone to be a homosexual. I do not believe that anyone is created to be someone. Somehow, it is a matter of choice.
This is what I believe in. We can never really tell what the Eyes of God see. I do not and would never see something that will make you happy as a sin. If ever homosexuality is a sin, then I'd burn in hell forever as I would never let go of something that made me know who I am just for the fear that it is "wrong".
Thanks for asking.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
Do you think homosexuality is a sin?
Thanks!
Vr2@l j0eY:>
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Vr2@l j0eY:> ,
I never viewed homosexuality as a sin. Though until now, I haven't figured out yet how homosexuality starts, I do not believe that the Higher Being will consider something that would liberate someone and bring one happiness be ever considered a sin.
Some researchers hypothesize that homosexuality is a genetic condition. An abnormality to the human genome wherein a anomaly in your X chromosome has occurred, leading you to be attracted to people of the same sex. This theory went further by saying that if this is the case, homosexuality can be prevented by isolating this gene at the time of birth if ever this condition appears at birth.
A lot of pro-gay movements reacted to this study claiming that their sexuality is not a result of a genetic abnormality but a matter of choice. They could not agree that they exist because there was something "wrong" in how they are made.
Considering something a "sin" is a matter of your ethical and moral view of your actions. I can kill someone and not consider it a sin if I can justify my actions. You see, this is relative to the person. It depends on what you believe in and how you are raised.
Personally, I think it is a decision. It's a choice for you to make not to be one, but whether to answer its calling when it comes and be pulled to the "darker" side of the force, or ignore it when you hear its song and keep your ears shut to whatever may be out there that can fulfill your fullest potential.
There are many factors that may have been involved in causing someone to be a homosexual. I do not believe that anyone is created to be someone. Somehow, it is a matter of choice.
This is what I believe in. We can never really tell what the Eyes of God see. I do not and would never see something that will make you happy as a sin. If ever homosexuality is a sin, then I'd burn in hell forever as I would never let go of something that made me know who I am just for the fear that it is "wrong".
Thanks for asking.
Just Ask Anytime Now!
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